Article Information

Category: Personal Stories
Topic: Depression, anxiety, mental health, asking for help, support, hope
Author: David Loeffen

Finding the Strength to Ask for Help

There was a time in my life when I believed I could handle anything on my own.

Like many people, I had always been the one others relied on. I was the person who solved problems, pushed forward through challenges, and found a way to keep going when life became difficult. I believed that if I worked hard enough, thought positively enough, or simply persevered long enough, I could overcome whatever stood in front of me.

Then, in late 2019, I found myself facing something I could not simply work harder to fix.

For the first time in my life, I was experiencing severe depression and anxiety.

Looking back now, the signs had probably been building for quite some time. Stress had accumulated. Life circumstances had become overwhelming. I was exhausted emotionally, mentally, and physically. Yet I continued doing what so many people do — I convinced myself that I would eventually get through it on my own.

I was wrong.

One of the most difficult lessons I have ever learned was that strength is not about carrying everything by yourself.

By the end of October 2019, I finally reached a point where I could no longer ignore what I was experiencing. I had to admit to myself that I was struggling. More importantly, I had to accept that I could not simply “fix” it alone.

That acceptance was far more difficult than I expected.

Many people who experience depression, anxiety, PTSD, or other mental health challenges understand this feeling. The symptoms themselves are difficult enough, but admitting that something is wrong can feel overwhelming. We worry about how others will perceive us. We worry about appearing weak. We worry about becoming a burden to the people around us.

For me, the hardest step was asking for help.

I still remember making the phone call to the Employee Assistance Program (EAP). It was one of the most difficult conversations I had ever had. Not because the person on the other end was anything less than supportive, but because making that call required me to acknowledge a reality I had been trying to avoid.

I needed help.

For someone who had spent much of his life trying to solve problems independently, that realization was not easy.

Learning That I Was Not Alone

The months that followed were challenging.

Recovery was not immediate. There was no single conversation, book, or piece of advice that suddenly made everything better. Instead, there was a process. I began learning how to change my way of thinking. I learned healthier ways to approach stress. I developed coping strategies for managing anxiety. I learned how to recognize when I was becoming overwhelmed and how to respond before things spiraled out of control.

Perhaps most importantly, I learned that I was not alone.

When I first shared my experience publicly, I did so for one reason.

I knew there were other people suffering in silence.

I did not write about my struggles to seek sympathy or attention. Anyone who knows me understands that being the centre of attention has never been something I enjoy. I shared my experience because I wanted people to know that there is nothing wrong with admitting that you are struggling.

There is nothing wrong with seeking help.

There is nothing wrong with talking about depression, anxiety, trauma, grief, or emotional pain.

There is nothing wrong with saying, “I am not okay.”

In many ways, what happened after I shared my story surprised me.

People I never expected reached out to me.

Some offered support.

Some shared their own experiences.

Others simply thanked me for being honest.

What I discovered was something I think many people fail to realize: mental health challenges are far more common than most of us imagine. We often assume we are the only person struggling because everyone around us appears to have everything together.

The truth is that many people are fighting battles we know nothing about.

Some are dealing with anxiety.

Some are facing depression.

Some are coping with grief.

Some are carrying trauma.

Others are struggling with challenges they have never spoken about to anyone.

Many people become experts at hiding their pain behind a smile, a joke, a successful career, or the appearance that everything is fine.

What Changed After I Asked for Help

As conversations began to happen, something else changed.

My relationships changed.

Conversations with family became more open.

Conversations with close friends became more meaningful.

The support I received was incredible.

People encouraged me when I doubted myself. They supported me as I took on new challenges. They helped me leave behind situations that were unhealthy and move toward opportunities that were more positive. Slowly, I began to see possibilities that I had previously been unable to see.

That support helped me discover renewed energy, renewed purpose, and a much more hopeful outlook on the future.

That does not mean the struggles disappeared.

Even today, I still have difficult days.

I still experience stress.

I still face moments when anxiety tries to take control.

I still have periods where life feels overwhelming.

The difference is that I no longer face those moments alone, and I no longer believe I must handle everything by myself.

I have learned valuable coping strategies.

I have learned how to ask for support.

I have learned how to recognize when I need to slow down and take care of myself.

Most importantly, I have learned that seeking help is not a sign of weakness.

It is a sign of courage.

What I Learned

Over the years, people have asked me how I found the courage to speak openly about my struggles.

The truth is that courage does not mean being fearless.

Courage means doing something even when it is uncomfortable.

Courage means admitting when you need help.

Courage means choosing honesty over silence.

Courage means allowing other people to support you.

If there is anything I have learned from this journey, it is this:

• It is okay not to be okay.
• Always be true to yourself.
• Never stop moving forward.
• Never convince yourself that you have to face your struggles alone.
• Support often comes from places you never expected.

And perhaps most importantly, always treat people with kindness.

We rarely know what another person is carrying.

The strongest person in the room may be fighting an invisible battle.

The person who always smiles may be struggling deeply.

The friend who says everything is fine may desperately need someone to ask again.

Kindness costs very little, yet it can have an impact far greater than we ever realize.

Do Not Suffer in Silence

If you are struggling today, please know this:

You are not alone.

There is help available.

There are people willing to listen.

There are professionals trained to help.

There are friends, family members, colleagues, counsellors, and support services that genuinely care.

The hardest step may be reaching out.

For me, it was.

But it was also one of the most important decisions I have ever made.

Do not suffer in silence.

You matter.

Your story matters.

And there is always hope.